tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10174586.post1912016814638296551..comments2023-11-05T00:56:41.539-07:00Comments on More Than Meets the Eye: God, Love & Relationships (UPDATED)Johnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15165288741847509822noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10174586.post-50692405603438383902007-04-09T15:21:00.000-07:002007-04-09T15:21:00.000-07:00Which doesn't make my interpretation invalid, IMHO...Which doesn't make my interpretation invalid, IMHO. I never denied that commitment was necessary; I just never addressed it. Commitment, to me, is just another way of saying that you have faith in your relationship. If I don't believe a relationsihp will work, I won't be committed to it. No one (that I know of anyway) gets married with the intention of getting a divorce later. Those things just happen, and I argue that it is because there isn't enough love in the relationship to make it work.<BR/><BR/>I guess another way to phrase what I am saying is that commitment is an expression of a love which already exists. If you love someone enough, you will be committed to the relationship and ergo it will work.<BR/><BR/>And Mike, it's nice to see you read my blog. Now update yours!Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165288741847509822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10174586.post-5353411575138247522007-04-09T10:53:00.000-07:002007-04-09T10:53:00.000-07:00You guys, seriously, c'mon, wake up. This is gonn...You guys, seriously, c'mon, wake up. This is gonna make me sound like an a-hole, but this is true:<BR/><BR/>Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.<BR/><BR/>So what happens when love does "fail"? I suggest that you have to view love in to different phases: the emotion and the commitment.<BR/><BR/>The emotion is what you feel, it’s the butterflies, the gripping sense of presence, the waves of passion that come and go for no reason, all the stuff of poems and prose (though not the prose above). This is not enough to sustain a relationship and, if we're honest, is really quite pathetic against even the most prosaic daily challenges. It's just a feeling and is not the world altering force people ascribe to it.<BR/><BR/>But I'll tell you what is: love the commitment. This phase of love is completely devoid of emotion, which is why it's so stable, and so powerful. Commitment doesn't care how you feel, doesn’t change when you've been wronged, doesn't stop being a commitment because something more attractive is available. Commitment is a conscious binding to another, an acknowledgment of obligation and a promise to fulfill that obligation. This phase of love is what keeps marriages together, what pushes couples to overcome their difficulties and differences, and provides the unbreakable crucible for love the emotion to flourish. It's also nearly impossible for human's to do without tremendous effort and serious help from above.<BR/><BR/>Love the emotion is a feeling and feelings will change. It's a fact of life as constant as the speed of light and ignoring it is as practical as ignoring the sun. What we have to figure out, what I think our generation is totally misguided on, is 1) how to achieve that sort of commitment, and 2) who to share it with. Neither of these depend on love the emotion at all and depend heavily on the compatibility of the two making a commitment to each other (ie is it even possible for them to engage in that sort of commitment, which brings into play things like personality, geography, stages of life, etc) and their willingness to make that commitment (ie are they willing to make the sorts of sacrifices it takes to be that committed?).<BR/><BR/>So the point is love the emotion is not enough, love the commitment is, and mistaking one phase for the other is an awful mistake.Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071754137356005902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10174586.post-68162862677066371112007-04-08T08:57:00.000-07:002007-04-08T08:57:00.000-07:00I've always believed that too. And I still do. B...I've always believed that too. And I still do. But I guess just because one person's love is enough, doesn't mean the other person's is.Revahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11345869200474259890noreply@blogger.com