God, Love & Relationships (UPDATED)

I debated quite a lot about posting this; I didn't know if it was appropriate. And then I thought: "Well, if I can't write about this stuff on my blog, where the hell can I?" And, Easter's a pretty good time to do this. So, here goes:

For a long time I’ve felt that in a relationship Love is all that you need to make it work (yes yes, a cliché to be certain, but one I strongly believe in). I of course have had arguments about this with friends of mine who just as strongly disagree. So me, being me, have been thinking about the “why” behind my belief. After weeks of thinking, I believe I have come up with a response, or at least the beginning of one.

It begins with God. Christian theology teaches that God is pure Love. Everything that God does and plans are acts of Love. Our relationship with Him is based on us loving him. When we stop loving Him, our relationship with Him weakens. God’s Love is perfect.

So if Love was able, through God, to create the world and perform all the miracles, then why couldn’t it make a relationship work? If God is Love, and through God all things are possible, why isn’t Love all you need to make a relationship work? Although I had this discussion originally in terms of a romantic relationship, I believe that all relationships, be they familial, platonic or romantic are based on Love, though different types of love. Take an example of mine: My best friend Micah and I shouldn’t like each other. We are so different, in every aspect, that we shouldn’t be able to stand each other. I’m the guy he would beat up in high school; he’s the guy I looked down at. But because we met so early in childhood we developed a close bond and our love for each other makes us friends in spite of all our differences. We’ve both done things that would normally make us stop talking to each other, but we don’t, because we love each other too much to just write off our friendship.

So I don’t’ think you can say: “I love you but that’s not enough to stay in the relationship.” If you love someone enough, then that is all you need. A more accurate statement might be: “I don’t love you enough to make the relationship work.” Or again: “I don’t believe you love me enough to make this work.” Or what I would guess would be the most accurate: “I don’t have enough faith in our Love that we can make this work.”

Perhaps most people just feel this way and don’t express it correctly. I’m not sure. It’s possible that when someone says “love isn’t enough” what they mean is “I don’t love you enough” and just don’t know. But this is what I’ve come up with thus far. Obviously, this may stir up some feelings in people; this is one of those subjects that I really want to have a discussion about. I welcome your comments and opinions about this, because this is a hypothesis that is still forming in my head, and I think it needs to be challenged and tested (do I sound like a scientist or what?).

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter (or Passover!).

UPDATE: I respond to Mike's comments below. Now that I think on it, I should've done it here. He raises an interesting point, but one that I dont' feel diminishes from my own point of view.

Mr. Barclay

No no, probably not the one you're thinking of.

While on my trek back east I also took the opportunity to read a book besides Mark Steyn's latest. This was a book by one William Barclay on the subject of The Lord's Prayer. Mr. Barclay has written a series of books which examine the New Testament, many common prayers and other religious-related items. I find the books to be very interesting as a lay person who doesn't know much beyond what basic Catechism teaches. Barclay takes each verse or story and delves into what the words are truly trying to say, often coming up with multiple answers. He looks at the Greek or Latin origins of different words, how different translations present words, and the impact that the differences makes. He also looks at the historical and cultural perspectives, showing why certain phrases, which we often take for granted, would have had a much more profound impact on the audiences of Jesus' time.

While the books certainly won't impress a true theologian, for those like me, who are just looking for a little deeper understanding of the faith, they can be extremely helpful, allowing us to ask questions about our lives that we may not have thought of. I highly reccomend the books to everyone. I've thus far read three: The Gospel of John; the Gospel of Luke and the aforementioned book on The Lord's Prayer. His books can be purchased here.



A Bookeeping Note: I (finally) fixed the link to Candace's Blog. So for those of you who kept wondering why the link was broken, no, I wasn't smiting Candace, I was just being lazy. Typical, I know. Anywhoo, it's fixed now.