Thursday, March 29, 2007

Strangest Story Ever

My favorite author Mark Steyn shows me the story that keeps getting better:

It starts:
A man charged with deliberately spreading HIV allegedly tricked his lover - who had registered himself with the local council as a dog - into having unsafe sex on the basis he could not transmit the disease.
Let's take this one phrase at a time: First, a man is charged with intentionally spreading HIV - a fairly disgusting charge to begin with -but he " tricked his lover - who had registered himself with the local council as a dog." Wow. This story is already bizarre. So HIV guy's lover registered himself as a dog??? Can I do that? I would love to be a freakin' dog! Second"with the council"? What council? I really don't know. And finally, some idiot believed that someone HIV positive couldn't transmit the disease? What kind of strange concoction of a story must that have been? But let's continue:
Melbourne Magistrates Court heard yesterday that Michael Neal, 48, accepted a dog tag from his lover as a "sign of commitment" in their master-slave relationship.
Kinky? Yes. But it's a sad day indeed when the above is the most normal sentence in the whole damn story.
[He] allegedly "deliberately contracted" HIV by having sex on the altar of a Catholic Church with two men he knew were HIV-positive.
First, read that statement a few more times, and let it sink in.


Ok. Now, this guy is seriously messed up in the head.

The witness yesterday told the court he was in love with Mr. Neal.

"I was pretty much besotted by him and under his spell, which made me very gullible and stupid," the man's statement said.

Indeed. The story goes on, and I swear it's not by The Onion; I mean, I know it's a messed up story, but I just can't read it and not freakin' laugh.

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